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Don’t Punch Me – I am Not a Star Wars Fan

Star Wars

The release of Solo: A Star Wars Story this year proves that Star Wars is far from a finished discussion. Princess Leia in a gold bikini played a starring role in any adolescent’s fantasy, both then and now, with Harrison Ford’s improvisation of “I know” to match Fisher‘s “I love you” taking the cake for absolute male swagger. You see, I recognize the phenomenon that is Star Wars, I have just never been tempted to partake in it.

Treading the Waters of Zero Temptation

Image result for star wars the empire strikes back

Image via Mental Floss

This entire thing started because Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back is no. 14 on IMDb’s top rated movies list. My brothers and I have been slowly making our way through the list, in order to proclaim that we are cinephiles, or at least, trying to be. Age-wise, we are 90’s children, so Star Wars as a phenomenon is something alien to us; the prequels would be more recent to us that the original movies. So one of my brothers suggested watching the entire franchise in its proper order over the weekend. He said they must be so revered for a reason. I told the both of them to go ahead without me. And they did. “You are missing out,” they said. Their enjoyment of the franchise did nothing to encourage me.

Then The Force Awakens was released in cinemas. It seemed more pertinent than ever that I catch up, because how could I watch the most recent feature when I had zero insight into the world that George Lucas’ built? This was easy enough to solve, I just didn’t watch it.

Sometimes an idle browsing through cable would result in a Star Wars offering, and each time this happened, my brother would pause at that channel, and watch the movie till the end. I caught bits of it and just couldn’t understand it. How could he watch it over and over again? Was it really that fantastic? But then again, he doesn’t understand my obsession with Pride and Prejudice, so I guess to each his own.

Going Rogue, Once

Image result for rogue one

Image via Vox

Finally my brother managed to wear me down, and convinced me to watch Rogue One. Since it is a standalone movie, I wouldn’t be swimming through the sea of confusion as much. That’s like saying partial drowning is okay. But I watched it, because I love Felicity Jones and Diego Luna. It is my sincerest hope that if I say I love Diego Luna often enough, he will wake up one day and realize he loves me too. Also, it has Donnie Yen from Ip Man, who is just a legend really.

I thought it was okay, though I felt a bit cheated that they all died and their actions would have no impact considering what happens in the next film, but hey, they tried right? At this point, Rogue One had failed in what it was supposed to do. So my brother brought out the big guns: Adam Driver. While I appreciate Adam Driver as an actor, especially in Logan Lucky and Paterson, I am immune to the fetish that is a man in high-waisted pants.

Becoming a Social Pariah

Image result for the monk vincent cassel

Image via Metro

At a Teachers Day celebration one year, where the theme was movies, I asked a teacher dressed as a Jedi if he was a monk, specially the monk played by Vincent Cassel in a movie of the same name. He was flabbergasted at my ignorance and tried to take me out with his light saber, which lucky for me, was fake (this sounds like an innuendo but it isn’t). I don’t think that was very appropriate Jedi behavior, but then again, one of them actually becomes a bad guy in the movies, so obviously they aren’t a dedicated lot.

From time to time, I try to make conversation with my students — to convince them that I am human. The first question I ask is: “What kind of movies do you watch?” Inevitably, we always return to Star Wars, making me wonder how they can commit to an entire franchise of movies, but cannot find the time to read their Literature texts. Needless to say these interactions devolve into awkward silence, before reviving again when I bring up Marvel.

Thus endeth my tale. I am sure you will try to convince me that I have made a mistake removing myself from the Star Wars conversation. I say: Bring it on. One last parting remark before I end this post: Let it sink in that I have watched every single movie in The Fast and The Furious franchise, but only a single movie for Star Wars. Okay, that’s it, the end. May the force be with you.


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Natasha Alvar

Natasha is an English Literature teacher. She believes that stories are the essence of being human, and loves sharing this world with her students. One day, she hopes to break into the literary world with an offering of her own, but for now, she finds enjoyment in writing plays for her students as well as penning content for Moviebabble. You can follow her @litmysoul on Instagram, if you want.

43 Responses

  1. Yeah, it’s your wish to see or not see but I’m pretty sure that if you do, you won’t regret it. ✌🏼

  2. Ha ha! Love the use of Fast & the Furious as a burn there at the end. LOL
    My guilty pleasure is the Expendables Franchise. I get weird looks, but sometimes you want something a little lighter than Bladerunner, right? As for Star Wars, I agree. It’s oaky, but…

    • I watch the Expendables too! Mostly to accompany my dad, since he loves them. They are absolutely fun to watch though.

      I think the Fast and Furious has done well as a franchise. So many movies in and I am still invested haha.

  3. Lulu Mendl says:

    Star Wars is one of those things that you have to grow up with to truly appreciate. It’s more magical when you’re a little kid, because in reality, it’s a fairy tale. Plus, when I was a little kid, the Marvel movies and stuff weren’t out yet (Iron Man didn’t come out until I was 6) and my parents weren’t huge action buffs, so Star Wars was one of my first “blockbuster” sci-fi movies. It means more when it’s exposed to kids like that, because that’s how it was exposed to people when it came out. Star Wars invented the blockbuster and vamped up the action movie–without Star Wars, we probably wouldn’t have the MCU. It’s fine if you’re not into it–but the reason people ARE is because it’s an essential part of a lot of people’s childhoods, kind of like the Disney princess movies but more accessible (because here you get spaceships AND princesses, at the same time.)

    • Thanks for the comment! I completely get that people are into Star Wars. I recognise that it is a phenomenon. I guess its like you said, maybe you need to be young to appreciate it and get into it, and I am just too set in my ways.

      • Lulu Mendl says:

        Well…puppets, princesses, and robots tend to be more entertaining to kids anyway. I wouldn’t say you’re the one set in your ways–take a look at all the middle-aged adults out there who still obsess over Star Wars minifigures and such. Which are cool, but still.

  4. I am in the same boat. I just cannot get into the fandom. I’ve actually tried, it’s just not my thing. And even less popular opinion: Chewbacca gives me the creeps.

  5. My reaction to this post: LMAO! I’m a HUGE ‘Star Wars’ fan but I won’t harangue you for not caring about the franchise. In fact, your opinion is very interesting indeed. I’m glad you at least somewhat liked ‘Rogue One’ (it’s my favorite movie in the franchise.) And yes, the infatuation with Adam Driver and his high-waisted pants can be a bit much. I am, however, one obsessed by the lovely Adam…for all of the above reasons.

    What’s even funnier is how you ended the post. I’m the exact opposite as you. I’ve watched every ‘Star Wars’ movie but only watched ‘Fate of the Furious’ (which I clearly think is the best installment in the speedy franchise even though I haven’t watched any of the other ones.)

    All in all, I loved this post so much! Thanks for making my day and May the Force be with you, always. 🙂

  6. Vuava says:

    Well I am old enough to have seen the first one at cinemas when it first came out. I’ve always been fond of them, so was quite excited when the second trilogy started. I stopped being excited quite promptly. I think you’ll be looking hard to find brilliant cinema in any of them, so I can see why people wouldn’t think much of them.

    • So you think the franchise was tainted by the prequels?

      • Vuava says:

        Most definitely. They might have looked flash, but there was a significant drop in story-telling and, magic, maybe? Subsequent actors have done their best, but have not had the same spark as the original ensemble. I was so unenthused that of the most recent entries I’ve only seen ‘The Force Awakens’, and the plot was so derivative it hasn’t made me rush to see any more.

    • That’s so sad. But this is really a formula Hollywood uses in general. Keep making something and as long as people keep going, they don’t really care. A lot of good movies have been spoiled because of unnecessary sequels.

  7. I got into Star Wars relatively late in life myself, but while I do like the franchise, I’m nowhere near a fanboy as others are. Heck, I loved Solo as my 3rd fave in the franchise which everyone else thinks I’m weird for, lol.

    And Princess Leia in a gold bikini didn’t do anything for me honestly, lol. She wasn’t ever a crush of mine.

  8. Bladud Fleas says:

    I imagine not many people on their death bed are going to be wishing they’d seen more Star Wars. 🙂
    I watched the first one and it was plenty enough for me.

    • HAHA! Precisely my point. I don’t get why people gasp and sound like they are dying when I say I haven’t watched the movies. You would think I killed someone the way they behave.

      On a separate note, what’s a death bed worthy movie in your opinion?

      • Bladud Fleas says:

        That’s difficult. There are plenty of afterlife movies. Ghost movies, to say nothing of zombie flicks!
        Nothing too schmaltzy and sentimental. Probably something old like Angel on my Shoulder.

  9. LOL, I am also a nineties child, however I like the Star War’s franchise but do not consider it to be “A Phenomenon”, I think the original movies are just okay. The rest are better and the recent ones absolute crap… so I am not a fan but I also do not hate it. You shouldn’t watch it if you don’t want to.

    • Hmmm … I don’t know, if you google the word “phenomenon”, the definition is “a remarkable thing or person”. I think that for a set of movies that started in the 70’s and is still so much a part of our current consumption of sci-fi would classify it as such. My students, who are born in the 2000s, have watched the original movies because of the current ones.

      Think about it this way, most of my knowledge of the franchise comes from its consistent presence in popular culture, like the Leia gold bikini scene was discussed in “Friends”.

    • Haha, okay fair enough 🙂

  10. No, I’m right there with you. I turned 70 last month, and saw the first movie when it was first-run. I enjoyed it right up until the end, when Darth’s ship goes spinning off into space. I immediately realized that I’d been hoodwinked, and the whole purpose of this movie was to rope me into a long-term relationship with the ticket office. I did see the first trilogy, although the last two were on television. When episode I, The Phantom Menace, came out, and so much attention was paid to the kid with the podracers and the two-headed sportscaster whose heads argued with each other, I realized then that I was watching a 2-hour toy commercial. Really, Lucas should have had to pay advertising rates to put that on the screen. So, yeah, I’m sci-fi yes, Star Wars no, and I admire you for your rebellion against the greedy empire!

    • Haha I love your comment, especially the last line 🙂 That’s the formula for movie making I guess, just keep drawing from the same source until the well dries up. I mean, look at Harry Potter. I love J.K Rowling, and I love the world she has created, but I do wonder when it would be a good time to stop. Also, I guess it is a bit hard when fans just want to stay in the world longer. They cannot accept that it has ended.

  11. I didn’t even know there were that many Star Wars movies. I watched the first one back in the day see what all the fuss was about. I didn’t see what all the fuss was about.

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